Pride Month: “We care, so let’s show we care for all no matter their background”
Philip Stuart, manager at Renaissance Care’s Cowdray Club Care Home in Aberdeen believes being inclusive is all encompassing, and this Pride Month is encouraging others to consider why it is more important than ever to create a safe and non-judgemental space for residents, their families and staff in care.
On average, the residents in our homes are aged 65+. In the world they grew up, being inclusive wasn’t really something they considered in the same way we do now, so to address someone’s gender, sexuality or ethnic background in an open and accepting way can still be a challenge for some.
That’s not to say however, that many people of the older generation aren’t accepting, or even identify as being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. So, I pose the question as Pride Month comes to end - why are conversations around LGBTQIA+ still so scarce in care homes? And by not doing that, are we being as open and as accepting as we preach, or are we exacerbating the taboo?
I am openly gay, I have a husband and two adorable children, none of whom I would ever shy away from celebrating. And in my experience when I have done that in the home I manage, it has opened the door for others to be their true selves, which is something I am majorly proud of.
Of course, there will always be questions, but questions lead to answers, and I’m happy to help those residents understand who I am, and more about a topic which they may have never been able to ask about previously.
A large part of this for me comes down to creating a safe space for LGBTQIA+ people within the care industry. I want to inspire true inclusivity amongst the residents, staff, and the sector as a whole.
As a manager, I am able to lead by example and have created an open dialogue with my staff. No one feels awkward asking me a question about anything, including my sexuality. By doing so I hope to rid any sense of pre-judgement someone might feel when coming into our home as a staff member, resident or relative.
Due of the surge of acceptance over the past decade around LGBTQIA+ it’s more common for people to come out. A big part of coming out is telling your family, and this can be extremely difficult for some, especially to grandparents. So, I hope that by being an example, my team and I can help make this an easier and a less daunting process for the relatives of those we care for.
I recently helped a young man come out to his grandparent in the home. I was able to give the grandparent context to what this meant, answer questions and be living proof that nothing changes because you’re gay, you’re still the same person who loves and wants to be loved, just as before. It was an honour to be a part of this moment, and I believe that by simply refusing to be anything but myself, I may have helped this family come closer together.
The interesting thing is, there’s preconceived ideas of who a gay person is. Rarely, people would paint a LGBTQIA+ person in their mind as over 60, but that is of course not the case. There will be more queer people in their later life than many will imagine.
Additionally, because the world has become less judgemental and we have more people coming out as their true selves, we will see an increase in LGBTQIA+ residents coming into care homes in the next few years, as single people or as a couple. So, it is imperative that we push forward in building an inclusive sector which will not differentiate these people because we weren’t prepared for it.
I have recently been working with care bodies to offer my support for anyone within the sector who would like to discuss their sexuality and any concerns they may have about entering care because of it. Furthermore, I have developed a statement for the same body which will allow for LGBTQIA+ people to come out during the assessment process.
This isn’t because there are different things we need as gay people, but it immediately creates a sense of safety, a sense of non-judgement, as well as taking into consideration factors such as perhaps wanting a double room for them and their partner, something they might not realise is possible because, for up until now, these things have seldom been discussed.
I will be that person in care when I’m older. I will want to be with my husband and share a room like we have done for the past 15 years already. I want to know that I’ll be understood, valued and happy living without fear of judgement.
I have been afforded acceptance by those around me, from the residents I care for, the staff I work alongside, and by my employer which gives me the freedom and support to pursue my hope in further encouraging the industry to have these conversations and continue to work towards an even more inclusive world for all.
To find out more about Renaissance Care and its career opportunities, follow: https://www.renaissance-care.co.uk/
